I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
