My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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