I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it's like iHOP with fire
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
