I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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