You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize