After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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