garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I should be sponsored by Trojan
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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