I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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