TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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