He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
