I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
