He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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