did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
