i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
