I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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