my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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