There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
