I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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