Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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