I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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