Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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