Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
