just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
