i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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