That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
