Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
