shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
