i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
