I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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