take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
