Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
