It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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