i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
