your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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