I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
