You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
