john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
