it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
should my penis look like a turkey
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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