when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you made out with another girl for some wings
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
