How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't deserve a penis
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
