Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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