Im at strip club and am horny
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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