YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
