i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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