You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you win again, gameday.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
