she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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