omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
