You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
