I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
