She's JV to your varsity
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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