i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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