You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
