i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
