I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
