There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
