do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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