Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
