I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
