She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize