Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
