3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
