i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
