He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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