I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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